Posted by: Trent Fraser on Tue Nov 06th 2012 8:11am
For decades, Shrek has been scanning the ice hockey arenas for signs of actually being able to play the game.
But having failed to establish any evidence for the existence of hockey skill, Shrek is reaching the conclusion that divine intervention might not be out there after all.
The part-time pig spleen reader admits that a decline in the number of goals scored since his time in Tompkins, Saskatchewan suggests that any semblance of skill does not exist after all or that the people he plays with are simply fearful of the large smelly hockey goon called "Jeffrey".
Rob Brick, chairman of the Association for the Scientific Study of Shrek (ASSS), said that a meeting has been called to address the "Shrek crisis". At this point Mr. Brick believes that an increase in slashes to the one called Shrek would correspond directly with the elimination of Shrek. Mr. Brick highly encourages his fellow ice hockey players to "give it to Shrek" every time he is one the ice. "This is the only way he will know that we don't appreciate his smell" exclaimed Brick.
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