Baltimore Icemen

Baltimore Icemen


Tim Bits: 10-15-10 - The Curse of the Number 7

From the Seven Days of Genesis to the Seven Seals of Revelation, the number 7 has been both worshiped and cursed. In the epic movie Something about Mary, the hitchhiker killer states that 7 minute abs would outsell 8 minute abs, and that … "7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 dwarves. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch”. There are seven wonders of the ancient world, seven colors in a rainbow, and seven continents. There are seven days in a week and seven deadly sins. Well, apparently one of those sins is wearing a number 7 on an Icemen jersey.
Jason Beck wore 17 and went to the emergency room after every game he played for the Icemen. George Tuttle wore 47 and mysteriously disappeared one day only to resurface 7 years later as a ref at Iceworld.. Jeff Black 27, Chris Miller 77, Animal 75, Tony 97, and now Smitty 37 have all fallen victim to the curse and no longer take the ice wearing an Icemen Jersey. The power of this number is overwhelming.
Luckily we don’t have anyone else on our team with a 7 in their number. But if anyone requests it, I would strongly suggest talking them out of it. If the number 7 doesn't destroy them it will certainly make them suck.
Also one last thing, I am wearing my #57 Icemen jersey when I go around trick-or-treating (scary).
Happy Halloween!!

Tim Bits 12/30/10

After our last loss, Timbits looked to find the reason for our subpar start.
TimBits: What has been there during the wins that was lacking during the losses?
Staff Sergeant Bright: The issues come down to discipline. Our wins are because we play within our leadership and losses come when we don’t. Over.
TimBits: So do you think practice will help?
Staff Sergeant Bright: Sir, yes sir. Over.
TimBits: What kind of drills do we need to work on?
Sergeant Major Burke: Whatever will help us meet our common objective, SIR!
TimBits: So maybe… Breakouts?
Lance Corporal Nelson: I think that would be…
Corporal Sampson: What he means to say is we have to make things more complicated. Confuse the enemy. Then we attack. The wingers need to flank the boards and the center and D have to cover them, Semper Fi.
Staff Sergeant Bright: Just like the PeeWees do, Sir! Over.
Corporal Sampson: Yes, as we confuse ourselves, we confuse all others, and then we win. Semper Fi
Sgt. Major of the Army McElwain: No, We play hard and play fast.
Private Polanowski: Wes would know.
Staff Sergeant Bright: Wes is scum, a low life. Over.
Sgt. Major of the Army McElwain: Wes is OK.
Corporal Sampson: Just listen to me. Confusion. That is our game plan. Semper Fi.
Lance Corporal Nelson: I think…
Sgt. Major of the Army McElwain: Corporal, just let me do my job.
Lance Corporal Nelson: To be honest…
Corporal Sampson: This is the way to win! Semper Fi.
Lance Corporal Nelson: Th…
Sgt. Major of the Army McElwain: Corporal Stand down.

Later on that night, Timbits spoke to Lieutenant Morin and played him the tape of the conversation with the rest of the team:
Timbits: What do you think of what you heard?
Lieutenant Morin: First of all, I don’t even know how I became Lieutenant. I am not even a citizen, but since no one asked I'm not going to tell. Anyway, I like the intensity these guys show.
Timbits: Anything else you want to add?
Lieutenant Morin: We play hard and smart we have chance. If the goalie makes saves he is supposed, we get win. It is up to the whole team to do their job. We have to be able to trust each other and communicate. If we do this, we can beat anyone in the C league… even our sister team, APG.

Tim Bits 1/19/11 Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris shoots in a shootout even if he gets a penalty at the end of Overtime.
Chuck Norris can talk to the refs even though he is not captain.
Chuck Norris is so cool he can yell at the refs "F^%$ you Brad” and not get called for a penalty.
Chuck Norris is so strong, not even a penalty box door can hold him when he wants to go after Jay with 3 seconds left. Also he is so sweet that the refs won’t give him a penalty, also he is so big he looks like seven guys.
Chuck Norris’s beard is not a beard at all, it is just the living quarters for the gnomes that make up the Iceworld rules.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, and then came out of the box to mix it up with Jay all in less than 30 seconds.
Chuck Norris is waiting at the redline to roundhouse the next goalie that tries to stickhandle past him.
Chuck Norris is the next APG player that is going to play on the Icemen. Chuck Norris WILL BE on line 1 with Jay and Pat.
Chuck Norris hurt Mark.
One time Chuck Norris heard that the Icemen were moving up to upper C and laughed so hard it caused Dingdong to get a hernia.
Chuck Norris made Dingdong visit from 1972 to get his Championship picture taken with the Icemen.
Chuck Norris is immune from everything… including jury duty.
If the NHL has a rule and USA hockey has a rule, Chuck Norris’s rule is better.

Coming Up

Tue Aug 20th 2019 8:25pm
Playoff Game vs JTF Blast
at Iceworld
Sun Aug 25th 2019 6:00pm
Playoff Game at Naughty Dogs
at Iceworld