Bulldogs Pick-Off Snipe Town
Posted by: Jared Overeem on Thu May 05th 2016 11:33am
Week 4 Brooklyn Bulldogs action saw our 2 – 1 heroes heading into Snipetown, the new Aviator expansion team who has struggled to find wins and draw attendance. The empty seats selling at below face value prices on StubHub were mostly grabbed up by Female Bulldogs faithful who bussed to the arena in droves to encourage their boys. In most cases, the performance of most hockey teams would determine the mood of the crowd. However, in tonight’s case, it was the energy of the crowd that would determine the outcome and the flow of the game and drive the performance of each player.
The ever so versatile Bulldogs lineup was tweaked again for this matchup. Utility specialist Lou Mastrangelo was now asked to put his players stick down and step back into the goal crease. His performance once again did not disappoint as he moved and played the puck with the biggest stick on the ice while putting up his usual wall utilizing his leather tools. Sensing a raucious and horny crowd of
female Bulldogs faithful on hand, Lou caused the Snipetown sticks to go limp for the entire game suchthat his boys would be the ones starring in this porno parade on ice.
The lines for this matchup were slightly different as well. Captain Frank D’Agostino lined with newcomers Riston Rocchio and Andrew Elgnad. They controlled the puck from the minute it was dropped and had possession and shots on goal that seemingly entertained the overwhelmingly female audience. However, Captain Frank D’Agostino is married to the team nutritionist / chemist / and alleged steroid supplier who was in the arena to protect her husband from the awaiting debauchery.
Ever loyal to his wife, Frank did not want to engage the thirsty fans any further so he temporarily stayed off of the score sheet in part due to a few nice glove saves but more likely due to the invisible clutches that marriage can have on a team. These 3 players will bring their sexy toe drags and high hard shots back next week as they were forced to respect their loyal oath for the time being.
The next line saw Joe Espo and part time pimp Jared Overeem team up with Ryan Burtchell who happens to be married to the Bulldogs team photographer. This line saw Ryan start the scoring off early much to the delight of the chirping bulldog female crowd. However, his wife was also present for this matchup to protect her husband from the vultures that filled the arena. The power of marriage was
once again in effect and this line followed the captain’s lead and did not indulge the adulterous crowd any further except for a late goal by the Pimp Jared in the waning seconds of the game when most of the women had started the after party.
Tonight belonged to the “bachelor” line consisting of AJ Bezner, arrogant Canadian Jean Pierre Roulette, and twin Jacque (Jason) Roulette. Jacque returned to the lineup against medical advice after missing last week’s game suffered heroically after blocking a hard slap shot. Displaying a rogue attitude and still in possession of all of their monetary assets and manhood, this was the only line where all 3 players are single. The scent of perfume resonated through the arena and without the clutches of institutionalized attachment the Roulette twins and AJ were free to respond to the presented orgy with their stiff hockey sticks. The Roulette twins assisted each other with two goals each and AJ had secondary assists to
facilitate. The yelping females screeched approvingly at every one of AJ’s victorious face off wins.
Female screams and cheers were heard with every hard working twist, turn and thrust of this line’s strong performance. A short shift of 30 seconds resulting in 2 goals in the first period was not enough to keep the screaming ladies satisfied for the duration of 3 long periods of hot action. Therefore, another shift late in the second period consisting of 2 goals within 67 seconds caused approving
orgasmic female screams to fill the arena as this line always seemed to send it in at the right time of each cycle. As the ladies quieted down with pleasure and seemingly satisfied with still audible moans for the 3 rd period, Jean Pierre Roulette sat back and admired his masterpiece of dished sauce that unexpectedly exploded onto the ice twice that saw AJ finish on a breakaway and Jacque perform his hat
trick. The weary and overindulged female crowd approvingly showered the ice with bras and moist warm panties causing a temporary delay in the action but a fun and memorable night for the Bulldogs who won 8 – 3.
The defensive core of Joe D, Tough Guy Jeremy Mangano, and John Coozie sensed the horny estrogen flowing through the arena. With their proven abilities never in question, they played a slower tempo to conserve their energy for the inevitable after party where the female bulldog fans were not disappointed by the defensive core’s unexpected pinches and occasional bursts into the action. Post game interviews and press access to the Bulldogs locker room was denied due to the overwhelming presence of female groupies. Jacque Roulette denied medical attention from certified team personnel but was seen leaving with 3 hot women dressed in skimpy nurses costumes. Twin Jean Pierre followed closely behind with a similar appearance of looking for a loose puck near an open net.
Part time pimp Jared was seen recruiting new talent into the life of shame but wealth and luxury that he offers and delivers on. AJ was the most cheered for Bulldog and he took home the most groupies out of any of the players. He
Denied comments when questioned, was nasty and rude to the press, and left the arena with his female Entourage without showering reeking of victory and manhood.
This Bulldogs team played fast and aggressive and seems poised for many more wins. If they play the rest of the season the way they played last night the only thing that can stop them is a venereal disease.
Bag Up that Championship Bulldogs!!!!!!
#1 Star: Jacque Roulette: 3 Goals, 2 Primaries
#2 Star: Jean Pierre Roulette: 2 Goals, 4 Primaries
#3 Star: Aj Bezner: 1 Goal, 2 Assists, Most Female Bulldog Fans
Bulldogs Blow Out Evil Monks
Posted by: Jared Overeem on Sat Apr 30th 2016 7:22pm
The Brooklyn Bulldogs are a team seeking to avenge a disappointing 1 and done playoff outing for the past two seasons. Painfully reminded of their previous early exit, they dropped the season opener to the Isotopes who showed them their early post season exit. Week 2 saw the Bulldogs overcome a 3 – 1 two goal deficit to win 5 – 3 and even up their record.
Week 3 would be a challenge of resiliency and versatility as the Brooklyn Bulldogs faced off against a pesty 2 – 0 Evil Monkeys squad. Consistent Bulldog Jacque Roulette (Who plays under the Alias of Jason Ocharsky to curry favor with the Jewish referees and Aviator ownership) missed the first game of his career due to injury. This left Roulette twin Jean Pierre without his line mate and set up man. Bulldog tough guy and enforcer Jeremy Mangano volunteered to leave his usual defensive position to skate with the arrogant Canadian Jean Pierre Roulette on the opening line along with newcomer Ryan Burtchell. This line exploded for 4 goals and demonstrated chemistry in various forms as goals came from turnovers, dump ins and an amazing back door setup from Mangano to Roulette.
Who would fill in for Mangano on defense? Once again showing resiliency and versatility, the Bulldogs removed Lou Mastrangelo from the goal crease fresh off of an amazing # 1 star worthy goal tending performance to control the tempo of the game with fellow defensemen Joe D’Angelo and John Coozie. Mastrangelo demonstrated puck and tempo control along with an amazing coast to coast explosion that resulted in a backhand goal going under the cross bar to let the Evil Monkeys know they were in trouble. But this was only the beginning as every offensive combination of attackers the Brooklyn Bulldogs sent out all worked cohesively to contribute goals of their own.
The second forward line consisting of Joe Espo, Assistant Captain Jared Overeem and nifty utility player John Cavallary contributed two goals to the Brooklyn Bulldogs effort. Espo continued his relentless offensive attack and prowess by ringing a blazing wrist shot into the net off of the bottom of the crossbar which showed an overmatched and outclassed Evil Monkey’s goaltender reacting too late.
The Bulldogs third line consisting of longest tenured Bulldog and current captain Frank D’Agostino, energetic two way player AJ Bezner, and dangerous newcomer sniper Riston Rocchio contributed to the 8 – 2 routing of the Evil Monkeys when Frank D’agostino added a wrap around goal to culminate tenacious offensive zone pressure by this hard working line that left the Evil Monkeys hopelessly unable to clear their own zone.
It was a statement game for the Bulldogs who overcame position and lineup changes and developed chemistry with newly acquired players to move up in the standings and improve their season record to 2 – 1.
The Bulldogs have gained momentum heading into their week 4 matchup against the new expansion team Snipetown. Stay Tuned.
3 Starts of the game:
1. Jean Pierre Roulette (4 goals)
2. Joe Espo (2 goals)
3. Lou Mastrangelo (1 Goal, strategy Control)
Notable Post Game Comments:
Brooklyn Bulldogs Jean Pierre Roulette and John Cav appeared in the pressroom to address the media following the win. The main question asked was what exactly was behind the 8 goal unexpected explosion. The players elaborated:
Jean Pierre Roulette: “I am on an emotional high after my recent visit to my native Canada. I missed my home cooking and hearing the Canadian national anthem performed in my native French Canadian tongue emotionally inspired me. Also, nothing beats the sight of French Canadian nipples.”
John Cav: “Bardownski”
Can you please elaborate as to how that goal developed for your line Mr. Cav?
John Cav: “Bardownski”
Yes, we heard it and saw it. But the fans and the media are curious about your insight as to how the play developed for your line. Please comment further.
John Cav: “Bardownski”
The Bulldogs are Back
Posted by: Jared Overeem on Sun Apr 24th 2016 4:07pm
Coming off of a first place finish, with a 9-1 regular season record, it came as a shock to many when the Bulldogs were surprisingly ousted in the first round of the playoffs. Amidst rumors of a roster shakeup and reports of conflict within the Bulldogs dressing room, this offseason began with alot of uncertainty. The Bulldog faithful were relieved to hear that a rebuild would not take place and that the core of the team would return for the upcoming season. Many predicted that the Bulldogs would come back strong in search of their 5th championship. It came as a surprise, however, when the Bulldogs dropped their season opener to the Iceotopes. Questions began to circulate as to whether the Bulldogs could bounce back from such a tumultuous off season. Things didn't appear to be looking much better for the Bulldogs early on in their home opener against their bitter rivals the Knights. The last time these two clubs met there was no shortage of controversy as a sucker punch was landed on defenseman Jeremy "Bear" Mangano during the post-game handshake line. This matchup came with great anticpation and the energy level was expected to be high. The Bulldogs however came out flat, to the surprise of many, and the Knights were having their way early as they peppered goaltender Lou Mastrangelo with shots and eventually jumped out to a 1-0 lead. The Bulldogs showed some signs of life, responding to the Knights tally as veteran forward Jean Pierre Roulette banged home a rebound off of a shot from the Bulldogs newest acquisition Ryan Burtchell. The Knights responded strongly with an onslaught of their own and quickly added two goals, taking a 3-1 lead. The onslaught continued as goalie Lou Mastrangelo kept it a game with a plethora of spectacular saves. Perhaps feeling overconfident, the Knights provided the spark the Bulldogs needed to salvage the game and possibly the young season. After the Knights goal gave them the 2 goal lead,many of their players began taunting the Bulldogs bench. Players were growling like bears and one player was overheard by MSG's between the bench reporter John Gianone shouting "bring out the bear", referring to Jeremy "Bear" Mangano. However, the Bulldogs defenseman was a late scratch after suffering from abdominal cramps. The Bulldogs who were in the lineup did not take kindly to one of their own being called out and this proved to be the turning point of the contest. The line of Aj Bezner,Jean Pierre Roulette and Jason Ocharsky dominated puck possesion and their efforts paid off as Bezner scored to make it 3-2, and Roulette added his second of the game to knot it at 3. It would remain that way for some time, until Bulldogs captain Frank D'Agostino chipped in a rebound for the go ahead goal after a beautiful end to end rush by defenseman Tom Votto late in the 3rd period. The Knights tried desparatley to tie the game, but the Bulldogs momentum proved to be too much. Frank D'Agostino added his second of the game,an empty net goal to seal the victory as the Knights pulled their goalie in a last ditch effort to even the score. The Bulldogs face the Evil Monkeys next 04/27 8:30PM puck drop.
Godors 3 Stars of the Game:
1) Lou Mastrangelo 43 Saves
2)Jean Pierre Roulette 2G 1A
3)Frank D'Agostino 2G
BULLDOGS BLUE ARE THE 2015 SUMMER D5 CHAMPIONS
Posted by: Jared Overeem on Thu Aug 27th 2015 1:38pm
BULLDOGS BLUE ARE THE 2015 SUMMER D5 CHAMPIONS
End of Season leaders
Posted by: Jared Overeem on Thu Jul 09th 2015 9:33pm
Points Louie Mastrangelo 16
Goals Louie Mastrangelo 12
Assists Jason Ocharsky 8
PIM Jared Overeem 14
Wins Mike DaGoalie 6
GAA Mike DaGoalie 2.50