The Velvet Hammers

The Velvet Hammers

Team News

Dueck Leads Hams To Victory in Spite of Penalty Parade

Posted by: Lorne Birch on Mon Jan 28th 2013 10:48pm

The Velvet Hammers finally got a much needed win Sunday evening as they defeated The Pylons 4-2. Josh Dueck had a natural hatty as he potted the first 3 Hammer goals. Ryan Lawrence sealed the deal with just under 2 minutes remaining in the game when he notched his second of the season.

It's truly unbelievable The Hammers pulled this one out, considering they were penalized 10 times for a total of 28 minutes. In other words The Hams were short handed for all but 8 minutes of the hockey game. The Pylons went 0 for 10 on the power play but scored one of their goals on The Hammers power play off of a giveaway by captain Lorne Birch.

Everybody played a solid game and the penalty killing was obviously stellar. A few power plays were 5 on 3 and several were of the 4 minute variety as well. Bobby D., Kerry Mac, Barret Payne, and Ryan Lawrence were outstanding on the penalty kill all game.

Brett Birch, playing his first game in over 5 weeks found himself putting in some double duty all game as The Hams were short a forward in the line up. Even though he was a little rusty he still chipped in with an apple and had numerous scoring chances.

Josh Dueck, has been playing some strong hockey lately. With his three last night, he now has 6 in has last 3 games. Josh also won the Wrangler hardest working player with his 3 goal performance.

Shawn Thompson put together another strong game. He was The Hammers best penalty killer all night as he had The Pylons scratching their heads in frustration all game. With two dynamite games back to back, it looks like Thompson is back to form after struggling with injuries for most of the season. This is great news for his team mates, as they are looking forward to putting together a few more wins leading up to the playoffs.

This reporter is heading down to Fargo to cover the 8A1 Novice hockey tourney this weekend but I will be back the following weekend when The Hammers take on The Salty Pirates and look to win 2 straight.

Dickie Dunn
Associated Press


Posted by: Lorne Birch on Mon Dec 10th 2012 1:35pm

I usually reserve this article for a recap of a Velvet Hammers game. For instance I could talk about their awesome effort in a 4-2 loss to Here For B last night. I just can't do that. I just can't ignore what's happening. What's happening you ask? The answer is simple. The answer is extraordinary. The answer my friends, is Brett Birch.

Sports has been riddled with many unbelievable feats for years. Unsmashable records. Jaw dropping streaks. Out of this world accomplishments.

Joe DiMaggio's 56 game hit streak. Cal Ripken's consecutive games played streak of 2,632. Jahangir Khans outrageous winning streak of 555 wins in Squash from 1981 to 1986. Even Joe Malone's impressive consecutive goals streak of 14 goals to start an NHL career.

Well folks, you can add Brett Birch's name to the list of "WOW" as he is in the midst of something very special indeed. It's happening right now, for all to enjoy in Hammerland. With Brett's 2 points on both Hammer goals last night, he has extended his streak to 12 points on the last 12 goals scored by the hammers. In that span he has registered 4 goals and 8 assists.

Upon looking into the records archives of beer league hockey in North America, Brett's streak shatters the previous record of 9 straight goals a player had a say in when Jim Langford set that bar in 1992 with the Juice Bags of the Midland Senior Men's Rec League in Duluth,Minnesota, when he registered 3 goals and 6 assists in that span.

I tried reaching out to Jim Langford, but at the time he was not allowed to accept calls, as per the very strict rules of the Betty Ford Clinic.

I for one think this is an amazing streak. Even more incredible, is that the streak is not over yet. Brett has a chance to make this streak even more Godly, if that's even possible, this Sunday when the Hammers take on Chabot Dozers.

For more information on Brett's incredible career, or if you want to get in touch with him, just check out his website at

Too many times I wished I had been to an event to see a record. Just to witness something magical. For now my wish has been granted as I get to be a part of this. A part of something special. A part of history.

Dickie Dunn
Associated Press

Streaks in their shorts;

See above!!!!


Brett also notched his 100th Apple of his illustrious UMHL Career last night!!!


Posted by: Lorne Birch on Sat Dec 08th 2012 4:37pm

It's been almost 2 months since the Velvet Hammers last took a sip from the victory gauntlet, but sipped they did last night. The Hams jumped out to a 4-1 lead frantically held on in the 3rd to win 4-3.

On the heels of a great goal tending performance by Clay and a 4 goal effort by the Express line, the Hammers won their first game in two months AND for the first time this year for Coach Lorne Birch Sr.

"I was so happy for the guys. We have been playing some good hockey and deserved the W", said coach Birch after the game.

Coach was tinkering with the thought of breaking up the first line, but quickly changed his mind after the game. "Guess they made a statement out there tonight. Tough to break them up after a performance like that. I just want to see more scoring. 4 was all we needed tonight. hope they can keep it up."

Clay who was sharp all night was tested early in the game when Captain Lorne Birch rifled a shot off a defenseman's skate and it was redirected at Clay, who slid across just in time.
"Just wanted to make sure Clay was ready for the game. Obviously he was." said Lorne with a smirk after the game.

Brett Birch had a 4 point night including a goal. His wingers Josh and Lorne scored the other 3. It was Lorne's 4th goal in two games against the Pylons this year.

The defense chipped in with some apples too, as Paul, Kevin, and Brian added 4.

The Wrangler hardest working player was KMac. It was the seond time this year he earned the honor.

The Hammers get right back at it on Sunday evening when they play first place Here For B at the Max Bell. Puck drops at 645pm. Some tickets are still available at the Max Bell box office or

Dickie Dunn
Associated Press


- The Express have 7 goals the last 2 games

-The Hammers snapped their 2 month winless drought last night


Posted by: Lorne Birch on Mon Nov 05th 2012 5:30pm

Due to the lack of work at the NHL level I have been asked to write for The Velvet Hammers once again. Unfortunately there isn't much to talk about in this up and down season except for a one Josh Dueck. We will get to him in a few paragraphs.

At least the Hammers were able to put a halt to their 3 game slide Saturday night against The Salty Pirates on the heals of a 2 goal performance by team captain Lorne Birch.

It was a highly contested game with goals at a premium and penalties being handed out like snack sized smarties on Halloween.

Leading the penalty box hit parade was newly crowned team goon Josh Dueck. Josh was able to rack up 17 minutes of penalties with only seconds remaining in the game. This makes it the first time in team history, and perhaps league history that a player led the league in scoring AND penalty minutes! We are witnessing something special once again from Dueck.

If Josh can take the lead in assists, he will become the only player in HOCKEY HISTORY, including all leagues and all levels to win the QUAD CROWN of hockey. Finishing first in goals, assists, points, and penalty minutes.

Folks, sit back and enjoy some history being made.

I know I will.

Dickie Dunn
Associated Press

3rd Period Collapse sends Hammers back to toolbox!!

Posted by: Brett Birch on Thu Sep 27th 2012 8:00pm

The Hammers started off the 2012-13 exhibition series in fine form. Beers were consumed pre-game and the dressing room banter was at an all time high!

Stumpy has some sharp skates and a new back-up twig for year 4 in the UMHL.

This years line-up has been tweaked a tad. Newcomers Clint Lussier and Ryan Lawrence skated up front while Gassy took the day off and is listed as day-to-day on the IR.

JD started off exactly where he left off, blasting a heavy slapper past Pylons goalie, Rejean Lemelin. Apples going to his line mates yet again for likely the 39th time they all had a hand on a scoring play together.

JD stole the puck from Lemelin and tossed his load into the gaping cage for G2 f 2012-13.

Next to tally was Bobby D with his first since the arrival of his baby girl Tesla! I'm sure it was all grins in the Kumka-Drysdale home after the game! Stooks and Clay-ko picking up the helpers.

Last but now least, rookie Ryan Lawrence potted his 2nd in 2 games with the Hams. Lawrence, more known for his firsts, actually has some soft hands in those mitts. Payner and Kyca adding to the marker.

The Hammers led 4-2 after 2. Then the wheels completely fell of!!! Lets just say 5 unanswered in the 3rd gave the Pylons the come from behind victory... Yes, I said come from behind...

POTG was K-Mac who was steady as ever with the defensive play and he directed at least 6 towards the net in the loss. He got to COWBOY UP with the new Wrangler Hardest Working Player Cowboy Hat!

Catch the Hammers in action this weekend @ 11pm vs Knights. Ass Cap Brett is calling it GUARANTEED WIN NIGHT!

Ass Cap 3.8273
for Stubby Clap

Last Game Result: Mar 27 2011

Team 1 2 3 F
Canucks 1 1 0 2
The Velvet Hammers « 1 1 3 5
Goal Scorers: Brett Birch (12:49 in 1st), Brett Birch (11:11 in 2nd), Scott Podruchny (06:41 in 3rd), Gaston Berryman (11:14 in 3rd), Josh Dueck (16:24 in 3rd)
Goaltender: Shawn Thompson (W)

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