The Velvet Hammers

The Velvet Hammers

Team News

Hams Win Big!

Posted by: Lorne Birch on Sun Dec 04th 2011 11:49pm

The Velvet Hammers ran their record to 7 wins, 2 losses and a tie, with a 7-1 thrashing of the basement dwelling division 2 Pylons.

A short benched Pylons team had no answer to a hungry Hams squad who feasted around the Pylons net all afternoon. Josh Dueck had the hatty, as linemates Brett Birch notched 2, and brother Lorne added another. Kerry McAuley added the other Hammers goal with his 4th of the season.

Dueck also added 3 helpers, completing a 6 point effort. "When you have 2 extremely talented and good looking linemates, as I am so blessed to have, the points are like pouring gravy on perfectly blended mashed potatoes!" said Dueck afterwards.

Josh has been on a torrid assist streak in his past 4 games, ever since he almost went toe to toe with Captain Lorne in the showers after a game he didn't pass on a 5 on 0.

"All I did was politely ask him to pass the f---ing puck. Really that's all. Looking back I probably should of just washed his ass like he asked me to. I don't regret it though. The guy is feeding Brett and I like 2 babies, wearing bibs, crying for some Gerbers!" said Lorne, when asked about Josh's surprising record breaking assist streak.

The Hammers all played a complete team game this afternoon with strong efforts from all. There were several nominations for The Mark's Work Warehouse Hardest Working player, with Derek Birch, Gaston Berryman, and Clay Koroscil getting consideration. Josh Dueck took home the honors though with his wheel barrel full of points.

This Friday it's The Royal Rumble Part 8 as The Hams face their arch enemies, The Rockpile, at 11pm at The Bell. Once again the Hammers encourage all their fans to bring out some booze and support their men!

Dickie Dunn
Associated Press


-Josh Dueck has 86 assists in his last 4 games

-In his return to The Hammers line-up as a defenceman Derek Birch has 11 points in 10 games.

-72 straight and counting for Captain Crunch, but who's counting!?

Injured "C" Notches 3 in Ham's Victory

Posted by: Lorne Birch on Tue Nov 22nd 2011 9:51pm
Gritty effort by the team captain
Gritty effort by the team captain

Lorne Birch playing was a game time decision, and what a good one it was as he scored his first franchise hat trick. Lorne left the game after his first shift last week, with a nasty spill, putting his 70 game iron man streak in jeopardy. He decided to play even though he was still in obvious pain. Thanks to some great set ups from his all star winger Josh Dueck, Lorne had 2 goals heading into the 3rd period. On a great block shot off his wrist, brother Brett Birch, scooped up the puck and passed it to Lorne, allowing him to hit an empty net for his 3rd of the game.

"My tailbone was killing me, but I wanted to play. Yah the streak played a factor. Not going to lie. I've got to be known for something. It was nice to get the hatty in my 70th game! I have some great linemates, who made the hatty possible! Brett and Joshy have been out of this world lately!"

Lorne, The Marks Work Wearhouse hardest Working Player also had this to say. "We are playing some really good hockey right now. Our defence has been great this year and our goaltending by Stumpy has been incredible!"

Scott McAuley notched his first of the year, while Dueck and Payne added a goal each.

The Hams now have only 1 loss after 8 league games, but face their toughest challenge yet, as they face the first place and undefeated Arrows this friday night at The Bell. Should be a good one.

Dickie Dunn
Associated Press

STREAKS IN THEIR SHORTS: 1/3 Season Report Card

Goalies : A +

Shawn Thompson leads the league in G.A.A and back up Clay is 4th. Both have been solid and Thompson is putting together a career year for The Hams. Thompson makes at least one big momentum shifting save every game!

Defence : A

When this whole group of 6 are together, this group is a brick wall. With the addition of Doerksen and D. Birch, not only are the Hams better defensivly but also have some offensive pop to boot.

Forwards : A

Dueck and B. Birch are simply put, ON FIRE after the first 8 games. Both are on pace to destroy their numbers from last year. The JBL Express is a freight train from hell so far. A few other players are almost at a point a game and Stastook has been a nice addition with 5 points in 5 games.

Overall : A+

The Velvet Hammers currently sit a point out of first place. They have only suffered 1 loss in 8 games. That 1 loss was by 1 goal by the way. It will be interesting to see how this team handles the toughest part of their schedule, with 4 tough games heading into the Christmas break.

Hammers suffer first loss of the season as well as Team Captain

Posted by: Brett Birch on Sun Nov 13th 2011 9:49pm

It was 31 seconds into the first period when bad luck hit the VH Crew. Team Captain Lorne Birch went down with an apparent lower and upper body injury. While attempting to come back into the game, the pain proved to be a little too much to handle and he eventually left the bench for the balance of the match. A gritty effort from our gritty Captain! (out day to day with ass pain and concussion-like symptoms. Will be a game time decision)

This was a streaky affair with goals being scored in bunches for each squad. The Hammers were somewhat stunned by the NAPA offence and control of the puck from the outset. We were caught watching the puck rather than skating after and taking it away. NAPA got off to a 2-0 lead after one. Fans were hoping that the Hammers alarm clock was moments away from going off!

It would have been easy for the team to collapse and lose composure with our leader out of action, however, this was not the case. Josh Dueck singlehandidly put the team on his shoulders and took us for quite the ride throughout the second. JD scored our first 2 while assisting on the next 2 to rocket the Hams into a 4-2 lead after 2. The momentum had shifted like a John Force in a pro-stock funny car on a 1/4 mile strip! It was awesome!

The team played extremely well once awoken in the middle frame. The lead though, wouldn't last. The Napsters scored 4 in a row of their own in the third. One of the goals being on a successful penalty shot after Derek Birch was forced to dive and haul down a NAPA forward who found himself on a breakaway. From the Bench, it sure looked as though Stumpy had stifled him. But unfortunately, it just trickled over the line.

While down, the Hammers did not seem out. Brett Birch took a late third period penalty, putting his team down a man with 2:04 left. NAPA scored on the PP to go up 6-4. BUT, again, the Hammers, lead by JD, scored late to put us within 1 shot from tying things up at 6. It wasn't meant to be however, as lady luck had run out when the final buzzer sounded.

Final score 6-5.

It was great to see so many fans at the annual Family Day game!!! Cupcakes were a nice treat after battling for 36 minutes out there. Thanks Ashley Birch for a delicious snack!

Next game: Friday November 18 vs last place Price Revolution

Streaks in their shorts:
- Josh Dueck has 10 points in his last 2 games
- Brett Birch has 9 points in his last 2 games
- Stumpy allowed more than 1 goal for the first time in 3 games
- Bob is still seeking those first digits in the 5th column
- C is questionable for the next game, which flirts with his 70th consecutive game played...
- Hammers are 0-3 on Family Day games
- Doerksen has his first multi-point game of the season
- Brett Birch is 4 regular season points shy of 100 for the Hammers (50GP 44G 52A 96PTS)

Pat Doyle (for Dickie Dunn) AP
Hammered Weekly Newswire

Unbeaten and Still in First

Posted by: Lorne Birch on Wed Nov 09th 2011 6:55pm

The Hammers remained unbeaten in 6 games as they trounced a short benched Habs team 9-1 on Saturday night at The Bell. This game was never in doubt as The Hammers lead from start to finish.

Brett, Lorne and Kerry chipped in with multiple tally's and Josh Dueck tied a franchise record with 4 apples.

Shawn thompson was his usual self as he was solid in the pipes and lowered his league leading G.A.A to a microscopic 1.60 after 6 games.

The Mark's Work Wearhouse hardest working player went to Kerry McAuley. Kerry was a late insertion into the line-up after missing 2 games due to an undisclosed knee injury. Kerry appeared to show no rust as he scored twice and added an assist for a U of M league career high 3 point night.

When asked about his offensive display Kerry had this to say. "I'm considering playing once every 3 games, if it's the key to my success. I felt great after the first few minutes. Even better, is that the ol' lady rewards me back at home for each goal I score if you catch my drift. So let's just say I plan on scoring again later! Five hole!"

It's The 3rd annual Hammers Family Day this Sunday afternoon, when The Hammers face off against Napa. Bring the kids as there will be treats for all. Remember to wear your Hammers jersey's everybody!

I have a feeling The Velvet Hammers will run their streak to 7 in front of a sold out crowd!

Dickie Dunn
Associated Press


-The Hammers have yet to record a powerplay goal. They do however have 5 shorties.

-Lorne runs his iron man streak to 68 games.

-With a 5 point night Brett now sits second overall in the U of M league scoring race.

-Shawn Thompson leads The U of M league with a G.A.A of 1.60. Our backup Clay sits in 4th. That's goaltending baby!

Hams Run Streak To 5

Posted by: Lorne Birch on Wed Nov 02nd 2011 12:54am
Goose Egg
Goose Egg

The Velvet Hammers beat The Knights 5-0 Saturday night to extend their unbeaten streak to a U of M league franchise record 5 games.

Leading the way was Brett Birch with 2 goals and an assist. Josh Dueck, Paul Stastook, and Derek Birch filled out the scoring for The Hams.

Shawn Thompson lowered his G.A.A to a frugal 2.20 with his first franchise shutout.

"It was long overdue. I felt the way our team has been playing this year it was only a matter of time. I heard our "C" predicted the goose egg. I'm just glad he didn't say anything in the third!" said a smiling Thompson after the game.

Once again The Hammers defence was solid. Shawn didn't face the amount of rubber he was accustomed to because of their stingy play! Derek Birch decided to give his offensive skill a whirl and had a two point night and had several scoring chances.

"I've been slowly geting back into game shape and I have been playing really defensive this season. Tonight Idecided to amp it up a bit and try to help out the offence. I felt good and I was happy to contribute to the scoresheet!' said derek after the game.

The Marks Work Wearhouse Hardest Working Player was Kevin "Mac truck" McAuley. Kevin had a strong game behind the blueline and also added two apples.

"The secret to my success is yogurt!' is all Kevin had to say afterwards.

The Velvet Hammers shoot for their sixth straight game without a loss this Saturday night at The Bell when they take on The Habs. It will be the first time these two teams face each other.

Dickie Dunn
Associated Press


-The Velvet Hammers have had only 4 powerplays this year, and have scored zero goals. Yet they have scored 4 shorthanded goals this year! Say what?!

-The last time The Hammers started a season unbeaten in 5 games was...well...NEVER!

Last Game Result: Mar 27 2011

Team 1 2 3 F
Canucks 1 1 0 2
The Velvet Hammers « 1 1 3 5
Goal Scorers: Brett Birch (12:49 in 1st), Brett Birch (11:11 in 2nd), Scott Podruchny (06:41 in 3rd), Gaston Berryman (11:14 in 3rd), Josh Dueck (16:24 in 3rd)
Goaltender: Shawn Thompson (W)

Coming Up

Nothing Scheduled

Regular Season Leaders