The Velvet Hammers

The Velvet Hammers

Team News

Hammers remain in third place with ugly win!

Posted by: Lorne Birch on Tue Feb 01st 2011 10:27pm

Well it certainly wouldn't be a game one would put in the "100% execution becomes excellence in hockey "playbook, instead you might turn to page 6 of the "How to win ugly" book.
Regardless it was a game the Hammers had to win to remain in third place and they did just that.

Talking to team captain Lorne Birch after the game, he certainly wasn't surprised they won. He just wasn't extremely happy with the way they won or his own performance, and that of a fellow line mate.

"Much to the displeasure of my team I guaranteed a win before the game. I mean come on. We are playing the bottom feeders of our division...a team we beat by 8 goals last time out. Admittedly it was a lot closer than I thought it would be. Hell, the bastards were leading 2-1 after the first. I think it was just one of those games we took for granted so we were pretty low key intensity wise. We made a lot of mistakes and didn't really make things easy for Stumps. I thought I played pretty shitty. I mean I saved my own (explicit) shot on an open net. I probably could of had a few more out there tonight but I think my brother Brett loss the ability to turn his head left on a few two on ones out there, when I was wide open.

The Hammers who trailed by one after the first never trailed again after Rewucki scored his second of four goals early in the second to continue working his magic with his hot hands around the net. Rewucki has now notched eight goals in the two games he has played against the Knights.

The game however was still in doubt midway through the third period until Brian Kyca created the game's turning point. On what appeared to be a game tying goal by the Knights, became the Hammers game clinching goal by Rewucki, when Kyca raced to Hammer's goalie, Thompson's aid, stopping the Knights shot on the goal line. He then fired the puck off the boards, and it was picked up by Rewucki in the clear as he sped towards the Knights net on a breakaway and scored with a a dazzling move to put the Hammers ahead 7-5.

Kerry McAuley caused a yelp from the league of goal scoring virgins, when he notched his first of the year.

"Feels good to finally pop that cherry this year!" said McAuley with a smirk after the game.

Josh dueck was in fine form in the quote department once again. After Lorne Birch scored an ugly goal off a one handed pokecheck when he knocked the puck off of a Knights defenceman after the Knights blueliner intercepted Brett Birch's pass to Dueck in front. Making reference to Lorne's first period miss on an open net Dueck commented, "You can't score with 2 hands so you might as well score with one".

Also scoring for The hammers were Brett Birch and Josh Dueck. Both extended their point streaks to 11, and 12 games respectively.

The Velvet Hammers hope to remain in third place when they look to beat ninth place NAPA this Saturday afternoon. It won't be an easy task as The Hammers will be short benched with the absence of at least 4 players.

That won't stop this sports reporter from guaranteeing another win at the Bell this weekend.

Lorne Birch
Associated press

Streak in Their Shorts

Josh "Dicky" Dueck extends his point streak to 12 games while Brett "how to fuck up a 3 on 1" Birch extended his point streak to 12.

Kerry McAuley scored his first goal of the season.

Shawn Thompson notched his 8th win of the season, which puts him 3rd overall in the UMHL.


Posted by: Candace Birch on Thu Jan 27th 2011 6:41pm

Nice Trophy!

Keep Your Eyes on the Prize!!!

Posted by: Brett Birch on Thu Jan 20th 2011 1:52pm
UMHL Cup awarded to the Hammers?
UMHL Cup awarded to the Hammers?

For those of you (like me) who have never won a championship in any sport, this is what we're playing for dudes! Yes, I am officially a LOSER! Let's run over some more pylons on Sunday and catch those front-runners and bury Rockpile!!! Hey-o!!!


Posted by: Lorne Birch on Sun Jan 16th 2011 9:57pm

The Velvet hammers returned to fine form Saturday night as they defeated The Pylons 4-1 and reclaimed third place.

It was a complete team effort from all, as The Hammers dominated most of the game. The score could of been a lot higher for the boys wearing the vintage L.A Kings uniforms, if it were not for the 3 goal posts hit throughout the match. Their only blemish being the early first period goal given up to the Pylons. Shawn Thompson quickly remedied the situation and slammed the door shut saving every piece of rubber that headed his way for the remainder of the match, to notch his 7th win of the campaign.

"The boys made it easy for me tonight, as they kept most of the shots to the perimeter. I really wanted to step up my game tonight as I was pretty unhappy about my performance last game. I felt good out there." said Thompson after the game.

As predicted, it was a rugged match as both teams fought it out for third place. The Hammers had to put up with some nasty stick work from the Pylons but managed to do so without taking any retaliation penalties.

When asked about the intensity of the game, team captain Lorne Birch had this to say. "It was a little nasty out there. I took a stick across my tits. You can still see the line. It looks like I got sunburn whilst wearing a bikini. Reggie also took a slash too. Our guys didn't retaliate. Obviously we are a better team when we aren't filling up the penalty box. I'm proud of our guys."

All three lines put in a great effort. The first two lines provided the scoring, while the third line shut down the Pylons and never relenquished a goal.

Josh Dueck stretched his point streak to 10 games as he scored twice. In that span Dueck has recorded 20 points.

When asked about his streak Dueck responded, "When you are fortunate to be playing with the Birch brothers, you just know you are going to get your chances. I'm lucky to have some great linemates!"

Rounding out the scoring was Gaston Berryman who notched his 2nd of the year and Brian Kyca who bulged the twine for his 3rd of the campaign.

The real story of this game was the fact Andy Rewucki set up both Berryman and Kyca. Not well known for his playmaking skills, the sniper had this to say afterwards. "I felt I had to start adding to my apple total so I figured I would give it a shot tonight and it worked out with 2 assists. Honestly though, there is no glory in a helper, so I plan on going back to my sniping ways next game. I was born to score. What can I say. Sorry boys."

Earning The Hammers hardest working player helmet was Scott McAuley who had a great bounce back game. Scott was solid behind the blue line and played a smart game.

The Hammers have now won 4 of their last 5 and hope to make it 5 in 6 when they do battle with the 9th place Peg City Pilons this Sunday afternoon. The next game will also be their second "Family day" of the season so the team encourages all kids and wives to come out, as the team will be supplying snacks for the young ones.

Lorne Birch
Associated Press


-The Hammers have won 4 of their last 5
-Josh Dueck has recorded at least one point in 10 straight games (20pts)
-Brett Birch has recorded at least 1 point in 9 straight (19pts)
-Bob drysdale has played 35 straight league games without a penalty
-Clay Koroscil has blocked at least 1 shot in every game played running his total to God knows...but it's got to be a lot!
-The hammers have scored 56 goals this year so far. They had 46 goals all of last year!

Early 2 goal deficit too much to overcome in a 6-4 loss to the Slammers

Posted by: Lorne Birch on Tue Jan 11th 2011 6:44pm
Brett Birch or Serge Savard?
Brett Birch or Serge Savard?

After a one month lay off it was time for the third place Hammers to put their modest 2 game winning streak on the line against the Slammers. It wasn't an easy task, as the Slammers sat comfortably in first place and had yet to lose to the boys in purple and yellow.

It wasn't the best of starts as The Hammers gave up an early 2 goal deficit in the first, which buldged to a 3 goal spread by mid game. The Hammers had to play catch up for the remainder of the bout and did so in fine fashion outscoring The Slammers 4-3 the rest of the way.

The game had it's moments for the Hammers as they scored some nice goals when Brandon Rewucki and Lorne Birch both went top shelf where Grandma hides the Oreo Double Stuffed cookies. The fans were almost treated to a spectaculiar hilite reel goal in the third period when The Hammers top scorer Brett Birch blew past 2 defenders and pulled off the "spinorama" move made famous by Serge Savard, only to be foiled by the quick right pad of The Slammers goaltender.

"Obviously when you spot a 3 goal lead to a team with the kind of talent the Slammers possess, especially on defence, it makes things very difficult to earn 2 points" said Brett Birch after the game.

"We know we can beat these guys. We just came off a long lay off but you can see we can skate with them!" said gritty winger Brian Kyca.

Filling out the remainder of the scoring was Clay Korocil and Andy Rewucki, who continued his torrid scoring pace notching his 13th goal in only his 8th game.

On another positive note, Josh Dueck, who was placed on the 30 day IR due to a partially seperated shoulder back in December, made his return to the line-up. Though a little rusty, he still managed 2 helpers in the losing cause.

When asked about his shoulder Josh just shrugged it off and said "It's a little tender, but the last time I checked we weren't playing in a ladies league."

Still no word if there would be any fines levied on Dueck's derogatory comments as of press time.

The Hammers look to get back in the winning column this Saturday night as they do battle with The Pilons in a crutial third place showdown.

This team knows when to step up for these types of big games and it would be no surprise to see them earn the 2 huge points to keep pace in the race for 3rd place.

Lorne Birch
Associated Press

Last Game Result: Mar 27 2011

Team 1 2 3 F
Canucks 1 1 0 2
The Velvet Hammers « 1 1 3 5
Goal Scorers: Brett Birch (12:49 in 1st), Brett Birch (11:11 in 2nd), Scott Podruchny (06:41 in 3rd), Gaston Berryman (11:14 in 3rd), Josh Dueck (16:24 in 3rd)
Goaltender: Shawn Thompson (W)

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